Infinite Fear - A Scared Series Novella
Spending his days drunk and his nights high, priding himself on his perfection of the one night stand, Jackson Jones has hit rock bottom. He is caught in a vicious cycle, spiraling downwards, at war with a formidable opponent: himself.
Life for Jackson wasn't always like this. At eighteen, he thought he had it all: a beautiful girlfriend who he loved, good friends, and even better grades that would help him get into any college he chose. But one event changed everything, and now his bright future has all but disappeared completely.
With some help from an old friend and a sexy, mysterious woman, will Jackson be able to find the closure he needs to move on from his past and reclaim his future? Can he shut his demons out, for good? Or will he remain stuck in a cycle of Infinite Fear?
For the first year after she left, my calls went to her voicemail, allowing me to hear the sound of her voice as if she was right here beside me. Then, one fateful autumn morning, about a year ago, the voicemail didn’t pick up. A robotic voice informed me that the number had been disconnected. I still call, though. It’s been two years. Two years since she walked out of my life. Two years that I have been waiting for her to come back. Two years that I have spent worrying, obsessing over what I could have done differently. Two years since she ripped my heart out and fucking stood on it. Every morning, I fight the urge to fling my cell across the room when I hear that fateful recording.
Rinsing the empty coffee cup, I go to the fridge and grab a Corona from the bottom shelf before making my way out to the front porch with it and a cigarette. My neighborhood is rough, but at the same time, it’s so real. Children play on their front porches, and the local women gather in small tight circles, gossiping about the one that hasn’t yet joined them. Every family on my street has painted their house in various colors of the same cheap ass paint from the local hardware store, with the result that it’s peeling and flaking in wide sections.
A few locals walk by. I raise a hand to the guys. The women who have been unfortunate enough to end up in my bed all walk by, eyeing me quickly then rushing past. I can never figure out if they truly hate me, or if they just wish they were riding my dick again, and they’re so mad because they aren’t. The ones that I have yet to conquer walk by more slowly, stealing glances at my bare chest. To those, I offer a small smile, always keeping my options open.
But for the last two years, this neighborhood has been a painful reminder of Shana’s absence. We’d been friends since middle school. Back then, she hadn’t grown into her breasts or her face, but once she did, she was beautiful. We began dating in high school. She was my first kiss. Right here on this porch, in the fucking love seat. We carved our names into a heart on the tree that bordered between my house and the neighbor’s, like lovesick children. Heart, arrow, and all. A few months ago, I had ceremoniously taken my knife and gouged out the offending reminder. I was drunk and regretted it the next day. My bed, which has now been relegated to entertaining random women, was where we lost our virginity to each other.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Jacqueline Abrahams is the author alter ego for an ordinary mum to three children (two human and one canine) and wife to one husband. Born in South Africa, she now calls Sydney, Australia her home.
A collector all things books and bookish, she in an avid reader and has a tiny obsession with filling bookshelves. When she's not preoccupied wearing her aspiring author or mummy hat, she is working her way towards completing a degree in Primary and Secondary Teaching (with an English major of course!)
Scared of Beautiful is her debut new adult novel, the first in The Scared Series.
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