Being Sawyer Knight
Synopsis:As lead singer and guitarist of the internationally renowned Souls of the Knight, Sawyer Knight is living a life most men can only dream of. He’s surrounded by music, fame, wealth, women throwing themselves at his feet. He has everything…
Yet he has nothing.
Life as one of the world’s most sought after rock stars is tiring, oppressive and lonely. He spends every day being who the world wants him to be, who his manager tells him to be, who his mother expects him to be… all the while fighting against who he really is. Truth is, he’s used to it. He’s actually gotten pretty good at pretending… at living the lie.
Until Jake Reed, his ex-best friend and the only person who’s ever made him ‘feel’, waltzes back into his life as the band’s new head of security. Jake wants Sawyer – always has, always will. Now, he just needs to get Sawyer to admit that he feels the same…
“You will be mine, Sawyer Knight. The faster you try to run the quicker you’ll fall to your knees. Then, Sawyer… then you’ll be too weak to resist.”
Meet the Author:Author of the New Adult/Contemporary novels Missing Pieces, Saving Amy and the Take My Hand series, and m/m erotic romance Being Sawyer Knight.
I live in Rochdale, England with my wonderful family and when I'm not playing with my imaginary friends I can usually be found looking after my four adorable (sometimes!) children (six if you include the dogs, seven if you include the hubby!) or studying towards my English Literature degree.
All in all I'm just an ordinary mum with an addiction to reading about hot book guys, writing about hot book guys and Pepsi Max! Oh, and if my kids ever ask... I moonlight as the Pink Power Ranger ;-)
Excerpts:Conversation was a little awkward at first. We stuck to ‘safe’ topics, talking about our childhood and everything leading up to – but not including - the last time we saw each other. Soon enough, the rich whiskey started taking effect, visibly relaxing him. Three shots in and I saw a genuine smile… not a forced one he’d only put on for my benefit. The curve of his lips illuminated his entire face, making his caramel eyes sparkle under the wisp of dark brown hair that couldn’t seem to keep itself from falling over his face.
“So, how are your parents?” I asked casually in an effort to keep the conversation flowing. I didn’t want this night to end.
“Jerry fucked off a few years back. He was our first manager before we got signed, got us a few gigs here and there… but then I found out he’d been knocking my mum around, so after beating the living shit out of him, I told him he either disappeared or I’d call the cops.”
“Jesus,” I barely whispered, shaking my head at the image he’d put in my mind. “How’s your mum now?”
“Good, last time I heard.”
“You don’t see her?”
“Not often. She doesn’t exactly approve of my lifestyle. Got to do what’s right by her church buddies, ya know.”
“Wow. Sorry, mate.” Sawyer shrugged casually, feigning indifference. His eyes told a different story though. Evident discomfort forced his eyebrows together slightly and when he blinked, it took his eyes a couple of seconds longer than necessary to open again. “So who do you go to when you need to escape all this shit?” I asked, motioning my hands around the opulence surrounding us.
“Elle,” he said simply. Just the sound of her name tugged on the corners of his lips, making him smile.
“Maths girl?” I already knew the answer. The whole world knows about Elle Wilson – best friend and possible secret girlfriend of the hottest singer this decade has ever seen.
“Yeah,” he agreed, still smiling as he nodded. “After you… left,” he started to explain, the word ‘left’ cracking on his lips. “I spent more and more time with her. She helped me with my maths, gave me her old papers to study, that kind of shit. I still fucking failed,” he added with yet another smile. I liked Elle already. So far, she’s the only person who seems to make Sawyer happy. “But seriously, she’s the only person who’s ever been there for me. If it weren’t for her… I don’t think I’d have survived this life very long.”
“Sounds lonely,” I said, picking my glass up from the table and taking another sip of whiskey. The burn ceased after the second glass, and so now, four glasses in, the rich liquid trickled smoothly down my throat like silk. “Are you lonely, Sawyer?”
His eyes widened just slightly and he stuttered on his response. I stared intently into his eyes, trying to catch a glimpse of his soul hiding behind them. I could almost see the debate taking place in his mind – whether to be honest with me, or lie.
“No. Course not.” He went for the option of lying. “I’m surrounded by people every day.”
“But they don’t know you,” I stated cautiously, the end of my sentence coming out slightly higher as if it were a question. “Not the real you.”
“How the fuck would you know? You don’t know me,” he spat. The anger in his voice halted the rhythm of my heart for a brief second while I considered what I was doing. I should back off. I should be professional and keep a safe personal distance. I should apologise for riling him.
But I knew immediately I wasn’t going to do any of those things. Despite what he might think right now, I do know Sawyer Knight – the real one. I grew up with him, I loved him… I still love him. We might have spent the last ten years apart but I’ve never stopped following him. I’ve watched his career go from strength to strength. I’ve studied him in interviews, TV appearances and even went to watch him play when the band’s last tour landed in Australia. Each time I watched him I was drawn to his eyes, and not once had I ever seen the sparkle in them that I used to fantasise over as a teenager. He never smiles – not genuinely. He never talks about his private life. Never discusses himself unless prompted, and even then the discomfort is evident by the slight squirm of his body.
Sawyer is hiding from the world.
He’s hiding from himself.
And I’m going to find him.
Being Sawyer Knight by Nicola Haken
⭐️5 Heartwarming Stars⭐️
I would give this 10 stars if I could. Yep it's that good! I was honored to get an ARC of this fabulous book. This wasn't my first read with M/M but this one by far was my favorite. The way Nicola captured Jake and Sawyer's story of their struggles, love and friendship. It was just perfect and so beautiful. Really well written!
"People think I'm so fu$$ing important. They all want a piece of me and it's easy to forget who I am. Up here, up here I can just...be."
Sawyer should be on top of the world. He's the talented well known rockstar for Souls of the Knight, that everyone wants a piece of. Yet Sawyer dives into a whirlwind of bad moods and loneliness.
Then, enters Jake Reed, the long lost childhood friend and new head of security. He brings so much confidence and strength he so rocked my world. He knows what he wants and will risk everything to get it. This in turns makes Sawyer uncomfortable and makes him struggle with him sexuality, yet together they find a way through it. This book made my panties wet, emotions run high and your heart constrict with so much emotion. Such a steamy read for sure!!! It was suspenseful too and even though I figured out one aspect I surely didn't see the two connecting when it was reviled. The characters were amazing and I even enjoyed Matt by the end. Ryder by far was my favorite of them all. I love strong characters and he was full of life and spunk. I so can't wait to read his story next. I highly recommend this book to anyone that loves to read, loves M/M and just loves a really amazing journey through self discovery and love. It's not always a fun ride but it's well worth it.